Football Daily | Premier League clubs splash the cash – but are any of them any good?

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As such, they have cunningly replaced two full-backs who can’t defend with two other full-backs who can’t defend at a cost of £59.5m, and so far this season, they’ve conceded four league goals – as many as Manchester United, who in that time have been playing without a goalkeeper.

Unfortunately for them, though, lil Mikel Arteta has lil trousers for a lil reason, and there’s no money in the world able to separate him from his beloved timidity: stand by for another season of four centre-backs in defence, another in midfield, and the glory of a record-breaking fourth second-place on the spin.

On to Manchester City who, in 2025, have given Pep Guardiola and his epochal genius £332.3m to spend, to find themselves below permanent crisis-club, Manchester United – and 1,057 others – in the league table.



As for Manchester United, they’ve attempted to resolve their inability to score goals, last season’s principal failing – quite the accolade given the multitude of others – by handing over £207.2m for three attackers.

Only joking, the Daily is, like the rest of the football world, in deliberate, sustained conspiracy against their purity of ambition and their owners’ purity of motivation.

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Our transfer deadline day liveblog continues to tick along here, meaning today’s News, Bits and Bobs section is a little on the light side.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY.

Noble Francis may not have agreed with me that the north starts at Sheffield (tedious Football Daily letters passim), but perhaps, given the Championship table, he’ll agree that it’s where it is all going south?” – Jon Millard.

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This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily