I lived Liverpool dream but addiction hell ended my career - I thought I was going to die

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It's the first thing I thought about in the morning, the last thing at night.“I knew I was addicted pretty quick, but by then you need to feed the addiction. And I thought, ‘I'll just take these when I'm going to and from Sheffield, when I am staying away from home’.“But very quickly the addiction gets hold of you.

I was hyperventilating, my heart was pounding, I forgot who I was.“I got home, my wife just said I was violently ill, violently sick and then I went to bed and woke up like 15 hours later and that's the morning of April the 18th when I woke up and thought ‘I need to tell her again now, I need to tell everyone or else I'm gonna die’.“Because I thought I was gonna die the day before, I thought that was the end for me. So I did, I woke up and said I'm addicted to them again.“She sort of had an idea but she said I needed you to tell me.

And I just thought I can't feel like this for the rest of my life because I just felt the worst ever. This can't be me.’ So you start to have those thoughts.“And thankfully I never did because, when I was thinking about it, I was just thinking straight about my wife and my daughter, growing up without their husband or dad.“I know people obviously get to that stage where, and tragically and devastatingly, they do it.